The other day was my birthday. I’m just one year away from hitting 30, and it feels weird. It’s like this part of me is about to die. I guess I had a crazy enough “teenagehood” that lasted until my early twenties, and it’s hitting just now that it will never come back.
Midlife crisis, anyone?
As I do every year, when everyone says “How do you feel one year older?” I end up thinking that I’m not a year, but rather a day, an hour, maybe even a minute older. That year doesn’t happen in one day, it takes a whole 365 of them. I guess it’s just another convention we have all agreed on, to have at least a happy day a year. They used to be happier, though. I used to be all excited in the weeks prior to my birthday, preparing some kind of party, hoping for the calls and cards… Waking up in the morning feeling like a kid, a happy one. Enjoying the celebration.
That hasn’t happened the last two years. I don’t feel the excitement anymore. And everyone seems a little bit bothered by it, but I cannot live according to other people’s expectations. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I’m a mother now, and I got that excitement when Little L’s birthday approached, back in April. But I miss my own. I miss being a young girl. That may be the reason behind my apparent musical crash on Kid Rock. Of all people. In Spain he has only been seen in some tabloids because of his wedding to Pamela Anderson. I had never heard his music until some weeks ago. I heard “Picture” in the radio, and I liked it a lot. Then I heard “All Summer Long”, and I liked it so much that I got the CD. The guy is wearing a fur coat on the cover. A. Fur. Coat. That’s not me, my kind of music. Or maybe it is and it’s not my kind of cover. I only know I love the song.
It’s definitely a midlife crisis song. Perfect.
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