English Parenting Special Needs Uncategorized

Panic mode as my new normal

Do all moms live in panic? Or is it more common among moms with special needs kids? I remember being a first time mom, and although my novice fears resulted in a couple of unnecessary visits to the Emergency Room, they have nothing to do with what I feel now. Since our Little Pb got his cochlear implant we seem to live in a constant state of crisis. It doesn’t help knowing that every unusual thing possible happens to us.

I panic if he has an ear infection, I panic if he hits his head, I panic if something like CPS throws off our educational plan for him, I panic when the implant doesn’t seem to be working and I certainly panic when FedEx appears to have lost a replacement processor, as they did today. The processor is the most expensive external part of a cochlear implant. For different reasons, we have had to have Little Pb’s replaced several times. It’s a pretty painless and quick process, you call the audiologist or the company, refer the problem, they ship you a new processor, and upon its arrival you return the old one. Easy, right? Except for today. I got a call from FedEx yesterday telling me that our processor was waiting at the facility we had chosen, and we could pick it up any time. So, after work today, I stopped by said facility, only to be told that the package was not there, and that they couldn’t even find it in their system. Considering that this tiny piece of technology costs pretty much the same than a small car, I think today’s panic attack was more than justified. If any of you have kids who need equipment of any kind, you know what I am talking about.

Cochlear Implant processors
Cochlear Implant processors

To the panic, you have to add the guilt. As a good old mom, I immediately thought that I might have done something wrong in the process to mess up the delivery of the package. And as a good old foreigner I also thought that maybe I had misunderstood the lady on the phone. It turns out that I had not. I was lucky, and today’s little adrenaline trip only lasted a couple of hours. The very nice lady who told me yesterday that my package was ready to pick up just called again to apologize for the mistake on her part, and tell me that this evening it will be waiting for me. As much as I appreciate her apology, and I give her props for calling me to tell me so herself, I’m pretty sure I aged at least a few months in those two hours.

But considering the alarming and seemingly exaggerated response from Chicago Authorities to a an incident in the Red Line this morning , it doesn’t seem like I’m alone in Panic Lane. I guess that it’s a matter of getting used to being there, and enjoying the good company.

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